While in Montana a week ago, I came across this sign while walking on a brisk morning before
my turn at the day spa. I was to receive a much-welcomed gift after this past year of relentless
time spent at the computer. I wondered, “Should I take a break and park my dreams in this field
before my appointment?” Then I asked myself, “Do we park our dreams here, or do we park our
resistance so we can open up to our field of dreams?” I decided it was asking me to park my
resistance.
First, I had a salt scrub. The masseuse rubbed my arms, legs, tummy, and back with Himalayan
salt mixed with delicious smells. This sluffing off the old, dried skin left smooth, soft skin. After
a shower, I then had a deep muscle massage to further the letting go. I was hoping to let go of
that resistance that I thought I had parked outside of the spa. I did not plan on returning to the
parking lot to restart where I had left off. As I let this ritual of healing enter my skin and inner
being, I imagined my Field of Dreams opening.
I spent that weekend with my tribe of mothers of children with cystic fibrosis. I am no longer a
mother of a child but a mother of a very capable and miraculous adult with cystic fibrosis. She is
the one who has shown me where and how I have had to let go. She has also shown me her Field
of Dreams, which is more vast than I could ever have imagined. This is what I have spent this
last year writing about in my book, Love Courage and Miracles.
Being with this group of women whose mother-dreams have been altered by the diagnosis of CF,
I was reminded of the hard work we have been asked to do. Our hearts have been broken because
of the fear of this relentless disease, yet this generation of moms has so much hope. It is a very
different time than when our daughter, Anna, was diagnosed. In today’s CF world, there are real
modulator drugs that can help a large majority of patients live beyond expectations. Mothers can
now dream of a future for their children. But it is the fear of the dreams not coming true that puts
up the greatest resistance to our dreaming and is the hardest to park.
When these mothers come together, they can express their fears; they are in a safe place to give
their resistance a name. They can cry, hug one another, and listen for ways to let go. As has been
true for me, they talk about their children as the wise ones who are constantly teaching them. It is
in this type of special Montana setting in a chilly November where this common experience
helps us to park our resistance and our fears. It just takes a short time for healing to happen, only
a few days together. When the moms leave for home, they are restored, and their Field of
Dreams is expanded.
At the retreat, there was a songwriting workshop. The facilitator led us in a visualization, giving
us words to create a personal song. Afterward, we walked outside among the Montana mountain
peaks, looking down at the valley to give it harmony. This is my song minus the tune, “My
strength is connected to the presence of the moment. My strength is connected to the presence of
the now. My joy is connected to the love. My joy is connected to the love of the children.”
We meet our challenges best when we are present in the moment. We find our joy in the love of our children. This is so true for all mothers.
