I am back in Australia. Anna is doing her best to deal with her routine of IV therapy that began in January but it has all become too much. I am here to help take care of Zoe, give Anna time to reset and support Terry. All at the same time I have to care for myself. I will be here for 7 weeks. Doug is still in the US and will arrive two weeks before I leave. So I am getting into the routines we have learned whenever we are here. Zoe is growing and very smart and independent in her own three year old way. She knows what she needs and what she wants. We are very connected and communicate well.
I left on a walk to have some personal time. Zoe is with a new nanny, Jess. There were screams and great unhappiness when Jess arrived in the morning but it did not take long before they were playing happily. I slipped out to walk to the Bean Smuggler about a mile walk. The perfect distance to get some exercise there and back. The food is excellent. I had miso salmon with a poached egg on crispy risotto and beautiful fresh greens. It was delicious washed down with a refreshing lemon ginger tea. And now I have opened my computer to write a post. Sitting next to me is a large flat white with almond milk and a lovely heart drawn by the barista. Coffee here is the best ever and anywhere, truly. How pleasant.
As I sit in this seat of pleasure I know that Anna is suffering. She checked in to the hospital only hours after I arrived. She saw that “mom” was there and I would be able to keep the home fire burning and so decided she needed to seek more help. But with that choice there is the circus of being in the hospital that can be frustrating and complicated. My daughter knows that so well. It is hard to figure how many times she has been admitted in her life time, at least 50, 70, or more? If anyone knows how it goes it is her. So much illness, so much pain, so much courage. So much courage. Sooooooooo much courage. Can not emphasize this enough.
And here I sit with my beautiful coffee with a heart. As I walked here I started to listen to Anne Lamont’s new book, “Somehow”. In her Preface she talks about love. Love is all around essentially. I also believe this is true and here I find my coffee of love in a cup. And for Anna, is her mind able to find hers today? As Anne would say it can be found anywhere. Will there be a kind nurse who will come to lighten her day? Will another kindness find its way to her? That is what I am praying for as I love this coffee of love. I know she would want to be here with me. Aussie coffee is so important to her. She can not have it today. I can not give it to her. I have to sit with an empty chair at my table and ruminate on how hard, so very hard this all is for Anna. The only way she makes it through is that tremendous courage she has. To have to face the difficult, the things that would make us all shrink into a puddle takes fortitude to the max and she keeps going. She does it. Anna knows how to do it. But I also know she is tired. She needs a break.
We talk about miracle collecting together and she needs one or two or a hundred and she deserves them. I am determined we will find them during this visit. They are there. Please send positive vibes so those kindnesses walk into her hospital room and give her a little comfort. I just have to keep moving on, doing my mom best to take care of her, Zoe and Terry……
And my book, Love, Courage, and Miracles that tells this story has come to a milestone. It is now on Amazon accepting pre-orders for its release on May 21, 2024. My hope is that it will inspire others, it will tell Anna’s amazing story and it will help us as we continue to live, as Anna continues to survive and live. Please support our effort to share our story and pre-order the book. There is a link at the top of the blog page on my web site. This is important because there are so many books published in this world that you have to give your book a boost. If it is launched on May 21 with many pre-orders it shows the book world it may be a valuable story to be shared even wider. And then can I ask, please leave an honest review after you read. That too is important. Thank you…… and what is the love that is right next to you?